You’re not likely fooling your partner anyway. It’s better to laugh when you are a hot mess than pretend that you aren’t.
#Laugh 7 years from now Patch#
We still laugh about the time I was going through a rough patch and spent a week trying to make beads out of clay. It’s far more attractive to acknowledge and even embrace your missteps and failures than it is to deny or ignore them. While there are many qualities you need in a partner, perfection isn’t one of them. They make us laugh even at our crabbiest (and also provide a gentle reminder to call it a day and go to bed). My husband and I have nicknames we call one another when we recognize the other person is very tired or just “done” for the day. Your partner will appreciate the times you cut them some slack - and as a result, will probably be more likely to do the same for you when you need it too. Don’t let it ruin your day and cause a fight. Then we hugged and kissed because he wasn’t sick of me anymore. When he re-emerged we recounted what he’d said in the car and both laughed again. I knew that, though I was annoying him and that is exactly how he felt, it was more about the state he was in mentally at the time.Īfter we came home from the birthday visit, he disappeared for a three-hour nap that he obviously needed. When my husband told me that he was sick of me I laughed because I didn’t take it personally. I am certain it has saved us, more than once. No matter how crappy things are, I have found there is nearly always something to laugh about together each day and I am so thankful for each time we acknowledge it by doing so. Don’t make the mistake of overlooking or ignoring it.įew things feel better than sharing a laugh with your partner when you are knee-deep in the trenches. Laughing may not make things better, but it makes a lot of things easier to deal with.Īmidst all the terrible things going on at any given time, there’s probably something funny too.
Other times you have to laugh so you don’t cry. Sometimes it’s the best thing you can do.
But sometimes things really are bad and I firmly believe it’s more than okay to laugh when they do. My grandma never would have used this language. Give yourself permission to laugh when things suck. But she laughed easily and had the kind of sense of humor that helps relationships survive - because she recognized and appreciated the humor inherent in life’s situations and her own behavior. Having a sense of humor doesn’t mean you have to frequently say or do funny things to make others laugh. Over the years I have also discovered how valuable and true what she said was - especially during challenging and sad times. That was 17 years ago, but I still remember her answer so clearly. She passed away a little over two months later.
It was a momentous occasion, but also the beginning of a very sad time. She likely knew it would kill her before too long. She was in a hospital bed and had just been diagnosed with what appeared to be a terminal illness. This might not have been that significant of an answer, except for the situation in which she said it. I’d only been married three and half months at the time. On my grandparents’ 60th wedding anniversary I asked my grandma what the secret was to a successful marriage. It’s the secret to a successful 60-year marriage. It’s not only what often saves the day - it keeps our relationship strong and happy. This time of our lives may test our love, sanity, and patience more than others, but I’m convinced that it’s also the time that a good sense of humor is more important than ever. (I had.) This is what happens when I rarely leave the house: I forget how. After we’d left the house the first time, I made him turn around because I couldn’t remember if I’d blown the candle out in my office. We have barely been apart for nearly a year now. The comment was honest and a tad biting, but not all that unexpected. And when he laughed too I knew he hadn’t really forgotten the words. I knew at that moment he was saying exactly what he felt. I told him I thought the opposite of missing someone is being sick of them. When he is stressed out or tired, he sometimes forgets English expressions. We were in the car the other day headed to our friends’ house to do a driveway birthday celebration when my husband asked me, “What’s the opposite of missing someone called?”Įnglish is his second language, so I wasn’t completely surprised by his question.
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